making music
So we made a CD!
I think everyone was surprised that I actually managed to keep it a secret, given how much I go on about every tiny little detail that crosses my mind. But Lachy and I decided to pool our collective talents and make a Christmas CD. He had written a couple of Christmas songs a couple of years ago, and talked about recording them for his mum as a present, but never got around to it. So we added our favourite traditional carols, mucked around with them a bit and came out with a pretty pleasing finished product. I did some nifty graphic design, we sent it all off to a secret laboratory overseas and in less than three months, voila! The Christmas Project!
It makes mothers and grandparents cry! You know it must be good!
We’ve given out a few copies as Christmas presents, but if you would like to hear previews or download it yourself it’s even available on iTunes and CD Baby (the latter is where we got it made and is cheaper).
Get it now! You only have three days left until it becomes irrelevant for another 11 months!!!
(Lachy just pointed out that Jesus’ birth is not irrelevant, but listening to Christmas carols out of season may not be your thing, and, indeed, may be a social faux pas.)
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Met a sister
Worked in a new store today. One of the girls I was working with had been employed at the same time as me, and we had been at the first group interview together.
In a quiet moment, she said, “sorry, this is really out of the blue, but are you a Christian?”
“Yes…”
“it’s just I remember during the interview when we were asked to say ‘Sundays are for…’ and you said seeing friends at church.”
“oh yeah!”
“Well I’m one too! A Christian, that is.”
She said she had just started going to the Village Church in Annandale, and was delighted that I knew the church and its minister, Dominic.
I remember during that interview I had felt very exposed when I was honest about my Christianity, as though it was something that just wasn’t discussed in job interviews. Well, I imagine it rarely is! But how amazing that almost a year after, she not only remembered me but remembered that about me. And it seemed to encourage her.
This is why I think it’s so important to wear your faith on your sleeve, so to speak. You never know who will hear it or how it will affect someone. You may never know that you encouraged someone. But I’m glad I found out that I did!
Read MoreMy story
I gave my testimony this morning at Ashbury, that is, the story of how I became a follower of Jesus. I got a bit teary towards the end! But at morning tea, people kept coming up to me and thanking me for telling it, and being so honest about my life. Well it’s just my story, I don’t know how else to tell it! But I’m really glad people found it helpful, and it’s why I’ve always wanted to be upfront about my background, and my current situation, so that it might help others in similar situations to remember God’s love for them. One guy said, “that was basically my story…only I’d never have the guts to get up and say it”, and a woman said, “me and my husband have depression too, and i was just so encouraged by what you said”.
So I thought i may as well share it with you too!
_______________________________
I’m Bec, and I’m working my way part time through Bible college. I’ve been part of the team from Moore College that’s been around the church this past week, helping out, meeting people in the neighbourhood and talking about Jesus.
I know it isn’t always easy to talk about Jesus, and there have been times in my life when I was embarrassed to be called one of his followers.
But back to the beginning. I grew up in a Christian home. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know who Jesus was, and that he loved me. We moved around a lot in my childhood, living in PNG and Singapore and going to all sorts of different churches. It was in Singapore, when i was 11, that I decided to give my life to Christ. Wanting to make a public declaration of faith, I got baptized.
And I lived happily ever after? Well not quite. Not yet, anyway.
We moved back to Australia, and i settled into high school. We went back to the church id grown up in, but i never really felt like i fit with my peers there. And slowly but surely, church began to lose its appeal, and my interest slipped away from the things of God as I found more acceptance and fun in the more worldly pursuits of my school friends.
Sadly, by the time I started uni, my family had disintegrated and my parents divorced. It was a time of huge upheaval for my brother and me, and we started to see church and Christianity as a relic from our former family life. although I never doubted God’s existence, I pushed him further and further into the back of my mind until I was barely aware he was there. Sure, if anyone asked, I said I was a Christian, but I never willingly volunteered the information and I hoped no one would actually ask.
I moved out on my own and got involved in a culture of hedonism – sex, drugs, rock n roll. I was looking for something to satisfy me, but found nothing much but dissatisfaction, loneliness and emptiness. I began to be aware that there was a God-shaped hole in my life, but try as i might, I couldn’t fill it with anything. I didn’t want to admit it, but living life my own way wasn’t working out as well as I’d hoped it would, yet i was still too proud to turn back to God.
A long term relationship I was in dissolved, and I took it hard. This was the final prop that God removed from me, to bring me to my knees, and make me look up at him. And instead of anger and disappointment, I saw love. I saw a Father who lifted me tenderly out of the mess I’d made, and said “I’ve been here all along, and I never stopped loving you. There is nothing that you have done that could make me stop loving you, because Jesus has dealt with it all.”
What a breathtaking, life changing realisation.
I started to go back to church. I learned that my mother had been praying hard for me all that time. God put some incredibly godly men and women in my life to help water the seeds he had sown, and he began to change and mould me.
It hasn’t been a fast or easy process, and i still think God teaches and shapes me the most through suffering. For example, I’ve struggled with depression for a number of years, which is debilitating and kind of scary sometimes, but through it God is teaching me to trust him, to lean on him, and to find my only peace and satisfaction in him. I have no doubt now that God is the only answer and i can’t wait to be with him in the new creation, where,as it says in Revelation, there will be no more suffering and no more tears.
But until then I am so grateful that he saved me from that life of despair. And now I’m not ashamed or fearful to tell people I’m a Christian, to talk about what i believe and how God is working in my life. In fact, I’m excited about it!
Read Morefoggy
I wish I had positive things to write about. It’s not that anything bad has happened, it’s just that I’m in one of those phases where the fog is getting thicker and the positives are starting to seem very dim, even though they’re still there. I’m sure it will blow over soon, but I’m struggling not to feel overwhelmed and teary all. the. time.
I feel yuck about myself. I started Weight Watchers a few weeks ago and have already lost 4.6kg – yay me! But instead of feeling invigorated, all I see in the mirror is this blobby person who will never be a healthy weight (which is so untrue). Probably sitting around in my pyjamas doesn’t help.
I have been doing some design work and enjoying it and thinking that it is looking pretty good. But instead of that boosting me, it’s just making me feel tired and like I won’t be able to meet the upcoming deadlines because I’m already out of puff.
College and church are both great, and it is wonderful to spend so much time immersed in the word of God. And yet I still feel like a fake, like I have no right to be at college, like I’m being flaky at church.
Basically, looking at that list, what I’m doing is being waaaay too hard on myself. I can see that. I keep trying to think about how I can be less tough on myself, how I can just relax without feeling like I’m being lazy, and wondering where on earth this level of self-criticism came from. And the only thing I can say with any certainty is that God loves me. He cherishes and values me. And this season will not last forever – even if I wrestle with this depression for the rest of my life, it is but a blip from an eternal perspective.
Just got to keep looking up and clinging to the hope I have in Jesus. My Bible reading from Isaiah 35 last night helped immensely to refocus my view. What a glorious picture this is!
The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God. Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs. In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness; it will be for those who walk on that Way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor any ravenous beast; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
NO-vember
Seems November is the pun month. Many will be familiar with Movember, the period of time when normally clean shaven men get around looking highly dubious with moustaches of varying success (all supposedly in aid of raising money and awareness for men’s health, though I do wonder whether all participants actually do the charity side of it). Well Mark Barry has just coined a new one – “NO-vember” and I think I’m going to adopt it as my cause. In fact, he just tweeted: “I’ve said ‘no’ to about 15 things this month. In retrospect, I should’ve asked people to sponsor me!”
For me, college has just wrapped up with exams, which has been stressful enough. But instead of being able to rest, it’s time to launch into a whole month of busyness. November/December is a stupidly busy time of year, especially so for people involved in churches. There are Christmas carol events, end of year celebrations, NTE conference and mission, evangelistic activities leading up to Christmas, not to mention Christmas itself.
The problem is all of these things are good to do. I love doing graphic design for my church. I love helping out with graphic design for a newspaper ad that will benefit a whole bunch of Eastern Suburbs churches. I love being part of planning carols events and I love being in them. I love working with the AFES team when they come to our church post-NTE for mission. I love doing music ministry at church and coordinating the team (for which I am paid). I love spending time with my Christian brothers and sisters, and I love going to church and reflecting on who Jesus is and the miracle that he came to earth as a man. It’s all wonderful stuff.
But there are still bills to pay, and Christmas always ends up expensive, no matter how much I try to stick to a budget. And while we do gospel work we still are meant to earn our keep and not be a burden on anyone. So I work as well. And I’m loving my work at K.K! And still doing transcription work on the side. And a little bit of (paid!) graphic design for my old church. But it doesn’t leave much time for anything else.
Rest becomes a complete crash at the end of the day. Gaps in the schedule leave me feeling guilty because there is Stuff To Be Done. And yet we are supposed to rest! We are supposed to have a sabbath. Because if we grind ourselves into the ground, how on earth will we be able to keep going in the long-term?
I’ve already had to say no to NTE, which pains me. I was so looking forward to going, but needed to work and it just became an impossible juggling act. And yet I still find myself agreeing to do things, even though I shouldn’t be able to fit anything else in. I keep forgetting I need so much more rest than the average person…
So I’m going to reflect on NO-vember. Even though it’s half over. There is still time to say no.
Read MoreChange
Had my last bit of training today for k.k (which is what I shall henceforth call my place of employment).
Something that struck me was at the beginning, doing some get to know you type things, we had to turn to the person next to us and answer these questions:
- name
- star sign
- what did you want to be when you grew up?
- Sundays are for…
The girl next to me, S, was sweet, and we chatted a bit before getting down to the questions.
“I don’t really know star signs,” she said. ”I’m born in March, so…”
“Aries, I think. I only know that because I had a friend in primary school who was born in March and she was an Aries. I don’t really know star signs apart from that, and that I’m a Taurus, whatever that means.”
She said her Sundays were for brunch and just hanging out. When it was my turn to answer I said Sundays were for going to church, and helping out with music at church, as I was employed as a student minister.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. ”Are you a Christian?”
“Yep.”
“Me too!”
“Oh cool!”
“What church do you go to?”
“Wild St Anglican in Maroubra.”
“That’s great!”
We got called back to report to the group before I could find out anything more about her. I realised she had been hesitant to say anything about her Christianity, assuming that I wouldn’t be into it, or I might make preconceived judgements about her, but she was obviously excited to find someone else like her among the group.
We went around the circle and each had to tell the group what we’d learned about the person beside us. Every single person in the group said a variation of Sundays were for waking up late, eating and just chilling out. When S introduced me, she talked about my church involvement. When I introduced her, I just said the bit about her hanging out and eating brunch. I didn’t think she’d want to be ‘outed’ by me. But it made me realise how comfortable I am with my Christianity these days, and how intrinsic a part of my person it is, being a follower of Jesus. I’m not ashamed to say that I spend my Sundays at church or for people to know I believe in Jesus. But I know that when I was at uni, I would have been more like S; I would have identified as Christian if pressed, but wouldn’t have willingly volunteered the information.
I like seeing how I’ve changed, how the Spirit has changed me.
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